Two colleagues, Jyothika and Shalini, worked in the same office. Their working hours ended at six, but they often had to stay till seven. Jyothika got annoyed every time. One day she asked Shalini, "Don't you get irritated at the way they force us to work late?"
"Not exactly," said Shalini. "At seven o'clock I catch a bus that takes me straight home. I even get a nap inside it. If I leave at six, I have to change buses, and I forego my nap."
The same office, the same extra hour. When the price of cooking gas went up, Jyothika cursed those who were responsible. Shalini said, "A higher price would force us to control spending." In my book I add one line: needless to say, Shalini moved far ahead of Jyothika in her career.
This is what I mean when I say attitude is more important than aptitude. Companies today hire and fire more on attitude than on skill. And attitude, like any other habit, can be built.
What a positive attitude is not
A positive attitude does not mean you are never sad, lonely or frightened. In the chapter I tell about a woman who lived alone in a valley after her children had gone away. She was always cheerful. The breeze asked her how. "When I feel sad, I talk to my cows," she said. "When I feel lonely, I sing to the trees. And when winter's silence frightens me, I work my loom so that it will kill the silence."
See, she did not pretend the silence was not there. She filled it. A positive person does not expect the world to be perfect. He asks how to reduce the imperfections.
Why some people see only the negative
Jatin was part of a film crew that went to a beautiful valley with snowbound mountains on all sides. The village charged no rent for the building where they shot. Many meals were free. The headman said, "We are trained to treat guests as Gods." There was no theft at all, so the crew never locked up their cash or costumes. But the village had no proper toilets. "They are such uncultured cavemen," said Jatin. That was all he saw. He never saw the beauty of the valley or the goodness of its people. No wonder he was surly most of the time.
Then there is George, a very creative copywriter, who swore when the internet failed, hollered when the vending machine was short, and yelled at colleagues when their graphics did not satisfy him. For a while the company put up with him. But when many others chose to leave rather than work with him, the company had to ask George to leave.
Nobody called George untalented. His temper finished his career.
The sticker on the desk
The book gives a very simple remedy for George. He could have kept a sticker in front of him that said:
- When the internet is not working, finish some other work instead of swearing.
- When the vending machine is short of something, politely ask the attendant to replenish it.
- If the graphics are not up to scratch, yelling at the artist is not going to improve things.
If he kept reading it and applied it, the book says, he would see the world not in the red of anger but in the white of peace. It looks too simple to work, and that is exactly why people do not try it.
Do this today
- Think of the one situation that makes you lose your temper or your mood most often. Traffic, a slow system, a family habit, a colleague.
- Write three lines, like George's, about what you will do next time instead of reacting. Start each line with "When".
- Copy it on a card or sticky note. Put it where you will see it every morning. The book suggests the bedroom, the office, the study, any place you visit often.
- For one week, every evening, write down the good things that happened that day. Include the things that were both good and bad, if you found something good in them.
When you feel anger rising and you cannot manage, the book has another small trick. Count from one to ten, or from ten to one. It works for many people.
And take care of the body too. When you are tired or hungry, you become ill-tempered. Eat at regular times, keep a good posture, and have proper light where you work. A happy body helps a happy mind.
Roses or weeds, the book says, whatever comes your way, your attitude will give you the strength to deal with it. Write the sticker today.
This is one chapter from my book Simply the Best.
