Many centuries ago, there was a King of Scotland called Robert the Bruce. He was at war with the King of England, who wanted to drive him out and make Scotland a part of England.
Battle after battle was fought. Every time, Bruce and his men were defeated. After six such battles, the king and his soldiers were driven out of the country. They had to hide in mountains and jungles.
One day, Bruce was lying in a cave, forlorn and dejected. His men were scattered. He could see no ray of hope. Then he noticed a spider nearby, weaving its web. The spider was trying to throw its line from one wall of the cave to the other. It could not make it. It fell down again and again. But it got up every time and threw its thread once more, until after several attempts it connected its web to the point it wanted.
Bruce watched this tiny creature and felt fresh energy. He decided that he too would not give up. He called his men together and made a new plan. In the next battle, he led his army to victory, and England had to recognise Scotland as an independent country.
Where the victory really began
You have probably heard this story since school. I know it is a cliche. I repeat it because of one point. Bruce won half his victory in the cave, before the next battle began. He won it the moment his confidence came back and he decided to fight once more.
The name of this chapter in my book is "Confidence is Half the Victory". I do not say it to sound clever. I say it because I have seen it in hundreds of people. The ones who recover are not the most brilliant or the most experienced. They are the ones who decide to stand up one more time.
Notice also what Bruce did after the decision. He did not repeat the same plan. He chalked out a fresh one. Confidence and planning go together. A confident person has realistic expectations. He knows his strengths and his limits. And if his aim is not met, he accepts the result and is ready to rethink and re-plan. Confidence is not shouting "I can do anything". The book says plainly that someone whose singing is pure cacophony, and who wants to become a professional singer, is making a mockery of self-confidence.
Who is holding your steering wheel?
My friend Vamsi, who is the Executive Director at Vision, once told me about a road accident he had seen. Two young people were on a bike. The strange thing was that the person sitting at the back was holding the handlebar. On a curve he lost control, and both of them died on the spot. If only the person in front had been steering, they could have avoided it.
Think about this the next time something goes wrong in your life. In many of our personal troubles, we were never really in control. We gave our remote control to somebody else. Parents, relatives, friends, the neighbour's opinion, the boss. And then we are surprised when the bike goes off the road.
The book puts it simply. Your level of success in life is directly proportional to your level of planning and control. Planning is how you take the steering wheel back.
Your task for today
Take a sheet of paper and answer these questions honestly.
- Where in my life am I sitting at the back and letting somebody else steer?
- Which one decision, small or big, can I take back this week?
- When I last failed at something, did I repeat the same plan, or make a new one?
Pick the smallest decision from the second question, and take it before the day is over. It might be applying for the course you have been postponing. It might be saying no to a favour you do not want to do. It might be telling your family what you really wish to study or become. Small decisions are the spider's thread. You will fall a few times. Throw it again.
Remember, I am not asking you to wait until you feel brave. Bruce did not feel brave in that cave. He felt finished. Then he saw a spider, and he decided. The feeling came after.
This is one chapter from my book Simply the Best.
